7.31.2002 :::
 
I continually amaze myself at how eager I seemingly am to set myself up for emotional destruction. It is as though I am determined to outdo myself in sheer foolishness. What could be more hopeless than pining after a girl who can have her pick of any guy in school? Falling for a girl whose heart belongs to another, of course. And, keeping in line with my supreme idiocy, that is precisely what I have done. My two closest (male) friends continually insist the situation is not so hopeless as I deem, and such counsel is all that is needed to fuel the desparate hope in my heart. My logic continually combats the notion, however, as she has fixed her eyes on another for the past eleven months. As fate would have it, he is either too stupid or too afraid to realize what an incredible girl she is and date her. Would that her eyes would light upon me with the same patient adoration! I would not keep her at arm's length, but draw her in and treat her as a daughter of my King deserves. My heart aches as much from the inability to express love as it does from loneliness. My spirit has been pierced with a double-edged sword, and only the touch of a woman can heal this grievous wound.

::: posted by Peter at 19:31