10.11.2002 :::
 
Ben brought me news most disheartening scarcely earlier this evening. Dana, whom the Eldar called Galadriel, did indeed find me both courteous and handsome, contrary to my earlier beliefs. She referred to the night on the town with Ben, Charity, and I as the best night of her life. Ben spoke with both Dana and Charity the following day, and both girls expressed their absolute delight with the previous evening. In addition, Dana was pleasantly surprised at my behavior. Contrary to her expectations, I treated her as a lady and never attempted to make a move on her. Apparently, her past relationships have been with boys so self-centered and utterly without honor that she has come to believe their behavior as the standard for dating. She found such treatment very refreshing, and told Ben her desire that I also be her date for the junior/senior prom. She said she still owed me a dance. Then, not three weeks later, she rejected my offer to escort her to that very prom. Her motive behind such inexplicable behavior was a complete mystery until tonight.

She was torn between two extremes. Her heart yearned to accept my affections, but her peers warned her against me. Apparently, the tales Susie told of our breakup were negative in their entirety, portraying me as a player whose only aim was to break girl's hearts. Ben managed to refute this lie in Dana's mind, but unfortunately the other girls in her class were not convinced and thus persuaded Dana to avoid a relationship with me. My only chance at happiness in over a year, and my past destroyed it. I gave Susie back her future, and in return she stole mine. I can only hope this has satisfied her.

::: posted by Peter at 01:57

10.08.2002 :::
 
My brother is eager to introduce me to a young lady friend of his this Saturday. From what he has described of her personality, we will get along splendidly, and I look forward to meeting her. However, I cannot help but feel some misgivings about the event.

First, I fear my inherent shyness will prevent me from feeling at ease and thus being myself. I am known to have a quick wit and a dry sense of humor, both of which Ariel shares. However, having witnessed my own actions in the past, I will probably freeze up upon meeting her. Such nervousness makes me an extremely quiet dinner guest, an image which is a facet of my personality, but perhaps not the best facet for making a good first impression.

Secondly, I do not believe she is a Christian. While this does not pose as great a problem as it would have were I still of the "American youth group" mentality, I still fear an incompatibility in worldviews will sever any potential attractiveness. I certainly enjoy the thrill of a debate, but not while the possibility of romance is in the balance.

Perhaps I am thinking too much again, as I am wont. I am worrying over things which may never come to pass, yet I seldom do anything else but think.



::: posted by Peter at 01:11