1.21.2003 :::
 
While reading yet another Vagrant thread on kissing, I realized something: despite earnestly desiring a relationship, I'm still afraid of the idea of trusting someone that much again. Indeed, I'm not even sure I can still grow close to someone in a romantic sense. I've only done so once, and it was before the cataclysmic personality shift I experienced two years ago. I'm unsure if the "new" me is capable of romantic love, or if anyone is capable of such feelings toward me. The only serious crush I've had since Susie was Dana, and the tremors are still being felt. I don't want to experience such excruciating heartache ever again, yet know I must risk it if I am to find true love. Caution is certainly a good idea, but even it can't guard against all disaster. Some branches only break after you put your weight on them.

::: posted by Peter at 02:34